A Chinese Wedding

This weekend I had the chance to attend a Chinese wedding while I was in Qingdao.  Our HR Director, Jack Ouyang, got married to Duan Ning.  In China, the couple each retain their family names unlike in the US.  Duan is Jack's brides family name, Ning would be her given name.  (The family name is always listed first followed by the given name and the family name is how you should address the person.  Only very close friends or family use the given name.  Many Chinese in the business world, especially those with lots of dealings with western companies will take a western name - like Jack - to facilitate business and make for easier pronunciation for the western colleagues or business partners.)  Okay - back to the wedding.

Chinese weddings are often held in hotels (so I am told) and are quite lavish affairs including a grand entrance with fireworks, dragon dancers, drum corps and music.  At Jack's wedding they had 12 cannons which fired off explosions of rose petals as they entered the hotel.  Outside my hotel that same morning a couple entered to the sounds of a 30 piece percussion group who dressed in traditional red and gold costumes along with two (actually four) dragon dancers performing some sort of dance that I am sure has deep meaning and symbolism but for me it was simply curious.  

Chinese couples take the majority of their wedding photos weeks in advance of the wedding in a studio as well as on location by the sea or some other romantic setting.  These photos are then displayed throughout the reception hall both in print and digitally.  The actual wedding begins early in the day (again, so I am told) as the groom visits his bride's parents home and asks permission to wed their daughter.  He brings gifts to the family as a "dowry" of sorts.  There may be some other official stuff that happens between that time and when they arrive at the hotel but I didn't get filled in on that part.  The wedding (at the hotel) began at 11:58am as the Chinese are very serious about numbers and times and the number 8 is especially important as it stands for wealth and good luck.  The guests are seated at round tables that surround a runway stage (think Fashion Week) and are set with bottles of soda, juice, wine, water, Moutai (53% alcohol), chocolates, crackers and cigarettes (just in case you left yours at home I guess)  The food service begins right away and multiple courses continue throughout the next couple of hours as the wedding proceeds.  There is an emcee who hosts throughout the afternoon and begins with an introduction of Jack via fanfare and spotlight.  After a few words all attention is cast to the back of the room where the bride enters on her father's arm and he escorts her to the center of the room where Jack takes her from the father.  At this point Jack got down on one knee to the thrill of the audience and said something of which I had no idea but everyone seemed quite impressed.  After the couple sachets down the runway they then proceed to center stage to exchange rings and are introduced as the new couple.  There is now a break in the action as the guests dive into the latest course of food.  When the activities resume, the bride has now changed into dress number 2 of 3 for the day.  It is a blue number that is very striking and the couple pours the champagne fountain and then listen to a couple of speeches.  Jack had his former boss give one speech and his current boss (and mine) give a speech in Chinese!  Chris did a great job and the Chinese really appreciated the gesture.  Finally, after another short break to eat more food, the bride entered once again in another dress to cut the cake and then go around to all the tables and exhange toasts.  The tradition is for the bride an groom to toast a drink with all the guests (This could be quite daunting with the Moutai) however they pour coca cola into the wine bottle from which the couple are drinking so that the only fear becomes the random belch after scores of tiny shots of carbonation.  The final speech was from Jack's mother who I think was the happiest person in the room as she smiled hugged and beamed all over the place.  By about 2:30 it was all over and many of the guests were leaving and I had to catch a flight back to Shanghai.  My guess is that many of the guests who partook of the Moutai continue the celebration elsewhere while the bride and groom head off to take even more wedding photos.  So that was my experience with a Chinese wedding, one that I am sure is a bit skewed and misinterpreted as so much was lost in translation but it was very enjoyable nonetheless.